tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17229351227163741042024-02-08T08:10:12.893-08:00That BlogThat Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-80861627291839286832008-04-16T09:52:00.000-07:002008-04-16T09:57:25.391-07:00Dancing Girls.The ballet teacher would be horrified. Kid3 practices her steps to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq-yP7mb8UE">this song</a>. She is completely obsessed with it. Not quite the Swan Lake score that seems to be playing every time I walk into that studio.<br /><br />Having not put the Death Cab CDs on more than a handful of times since her homecoming, I am still more convinced that Kid3 is my child.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-51199929509939271722008-04-08T21:28:00.000-07:002008-04-08T21:36:23.185-07:00In the Forecast: ThunderstormsKid3 and I are thunderstorm fanatics. When she was a wee one still living in 'Russia,' we used to sit close to the window and watch the lightning while the other kids cowered and whined.<br /><br />If I am still awake, or one of us wakes up, when it starts, I will sit awake with her and watch the storm.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-73989381638992329932008-04-02T21:40:00.000-07:002008-04-02T22:05:39.155-07:00Welcome April!Since last April, I feel like we've had an awful, terrible, no-good year. (Death! Cancer! Seizures! Medical suckiness! Premature birth! Feeding tubes! Work woes!)<br /><br />Granted, the bright spots have been blindingly so. ( Kid2's homecoming! Adoption! Kid3's homecoming! Completing our family! Love, love, love in abundance!)<br /><br />We are ready for a brand new year. April is as good a time to start as any, in my mind, what with the spring finally coming to our little corner of the globe and the one year anniversary of the First Bad Thing looming. We each have many happy things to be thankful for, and many more to look forward to.<br /><br />I am thankful for a wonderful spouse, my three beautiful girls, my awesome friends and family, and a job I love. I am looking forward to a year filled with glorious, girlie giggles, and more love in abundance. I am truly blessed in this world. Here's to a year of remembering that.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-80909518238649495852008-03-28T21:21:00.000-07:002008-04-02T22:27:24.417-07:00Proof of Compatibility?Pondering a midnight snack, it was decided that the thing we were both craving was... steamed broccoli.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-81269970833010746072008-03-10T22:26:00.001-07:002008-03-10T22:28:55.266-07:00Do Me a Favour.Go hug your kids. Call your parents, your siblings and your friends to say hello and I love you.<br /><br />So much loss this week amongst friends and family. I am so weary.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-60270404710808610862008-03-03T16:09:00.001-08:002008-03-03T16:09:48.369-08:00It's raining, it's pouring. . .But at least it is starting to smell like spring! Hurrah!That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-91086936383700594452008-02-28T18:52:00.000-08:002008-02-28T18:55:12.539-08:00What's the catch?Seizures under control. Good doctor. Good service. Wonderful office staff. People that treat my daughter like a little human being. Oh wait, she is.<br /><br />It's only a 5 hour flight. We can do this.<br /><br />I am just thankful that we are here.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-56798744562985764162008-02-19T17:15:00.000-08:002008-02-19T17:52:14.418-08:00A few things that have come in handy this week:<br /><br />A "pre-eminent scholar" in epilepsy research making a few calls for us.<br /><br />A parent who knows "pre-eminent scholars."<br /><br />A lawyer brother who is investigating whether the PN acted discriminatorily or unethically. Unasked.<br /><br />A department head trying to cover his @$$, and promising us an appointment at <span style="font-style: italic;">our</span> earliest convenience, or an urgent referral to another neurology clinic. (I think he would be quite glad to see the last of us.)<br /><br />A paediatric epileptologist calling from across the country, genuinely concerned about our daughter, and offering her services.<br /><br />It would be handy to have everything confirmed and be ready to leave tomorrow, but it will probably be another week before we can finalize things. I can deal with another week much more easily than 6 months.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-19683319149694338602008-02-14T19:16:00.000-08:002008-02-14T19:34:47.000-08:00An Entire Day Spent on the PhoneAnd it may be starting to get us somewhere.<br /><br />I called the PE; no cancellations yet. I called the PN; not willing to make a more urgent referral. I called the head of neurology, and left a voicemail. I cried when I talked to his secretary who scheduled a time for him to call me next week. She said he might be willing to look into Kid1's information and give us the referral. She said she would print it off and put it in his inbox to look at tomorrow. She said she would mark it urgent and hoped tomorrow was a slow day for him so that he would have time to look it over. I cried when I thanked her.<br /><br />I talked to a friend's nephew's wife, who is in a neurology rotation at a children's hospital in B.C., who told me to get together her records and a video of the seizures, send them to her and she would present it to her mentor. She suggested forwarding the same information to every PE in the country. Her reasoning is that if Kid1 can get in with one PE as a new patient, almost any PE would accept her as a referred patient because someone else would have already done the work and it would just be monitoring.<br /><br />I called the PN again to ask them to forward their records to the paediatrician. I called our paediatrician and asked her receptionist to get all the records together so that I could sent out packets express post tomorrow afternoon. I asked the paed. to give us a secondary referral to the PE and a referral for a new PN. Which she did, but too late in the day for me to call about appointments.<br /><br />I called my dad, and cried, and he called a friend who is a retired epileptologist in my dad's home country, who offered to look at her info and try to make a few calls, even though he is not sure how much influence he would have here.<br /><br />I called the hospital where PN is an associate and inquired about making a formal complaint against him and was strongly discouraged from doing so, but told I could do that through the federal medical practitioners board. Which we probably will.<br /><br />Lots of leads, but no promises. It is frustrating that my daughter desperately needs this care and it seems to be just out of our reach and as though whether or not she gets it anytime soon depends entirely on the goodwill and interest of professionals. I am not enjoying this process, but I don't intend to quit until we get a solid appt with a PE within the near future.<br /><br />Tomorrow, I will call the PE and the PN again, visit the paed, send out packets and begin contacting PEs in Canada and a few in the US. And hope that my boss understands why I am taking the day off work and doesn't fire me since I have done this a lot lately.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-56293390753894850572008-02-13T19:43:00.000-08:002008-02-13T20:12:40.416-08:00I am angry, so angry that I forget to breathe when I think about the situation.<br /><br />We have long suspected that our darling Kid1 has been having seizures. We got a referral for evaluation and then waited impatiently for 3 months for a neurology appointment with the neurologist <span style="font-style: italic;">that already follows her case</span>. Being the squeaky wheel and calling everyday resulted in the appointment being moved up a grand total of two weeks.<br /><br />Today - finally - the big day, we head off to the neuro's office who looks at the latest EEG, and actually sees our daughter have numerous seizures in his office. He tells us he is sure she is having seizures and that he strongly suspects they are directly related to her ever decreasing function. Like a little worm eating away at her brain, every time she seizes, she loses a few more brain cells.<br /><br />And then he refers us to a specialist and walks out. No medication, no tangible intervention, no help. He - someone who specializes in the study of the brains of children - tells me that something is destroying my daughter's brain a little at a time and then he does absolutely nothing about it.<br /><br />I left, and I called in the referral. Our wait time for the specialist - a paediatric epileptologist - is estimated to be 6 months. They don't even book appointments for new patients this far out.<br /><br />I thought perhaps our neuro wasn't aware of this lovely policy, and called his office to ask for another appointment, another referral, a medication, just something. <br /><br />He knows. He just doesn't care. He doesn't want to treat my daughter. <br /><br />I can't even begin to express my outrage over this situation.<br /><br />Well, I can be a pain in the ass, total bitch if that's what it will take to keep him from brushing us off like bugs. I can call his office every week, every day or every hour until he offers up a better solution. I can cry daily on the phone to the PE's receptionist. I can beg any and all of our other health care providers for second opinions, more referrals, to have strings pulled. I am tempted to call him on discrimination, that he has made the value judgement that her brain damage is bad enough, that she is so retarded, that a little more won't change anything. That he sees her disabilities instead of her. That he is not following his oath, to do no harm. To gather other families who feel this way and bring a formal complaint against him.<br /><br />But I can't make him see that she is a human being, and that she deserves not to lose her standard of living even if it doesn't live up to his standard.<br /><br />And it breaks my heart. And it makes me angry.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-71031616273977679152008-01-27T12:00:00.000-08:002008-01-27T12:14:44.269-08:00Life has been hectic the last few weeks. My grandfather is still holding on. Kid3 is beginning to enjoy her new school. Work is keeping me busy. Kid 2 loves being with her grandmother 24 hours a week, and Kid1 is miserable with the change in routine. Sleeping through the night is a pipe dream. Sleeping AT night is barely accomplished in our household right now. I come from work and intend to throw a post on my own blog, one here, and then catch up on my bloglines subscriptions.<br /><br />I have a bunch of posts on the dashboard, our adoption story, some contest linkies and other random bits of cuteness to share, just not the time to do it. This is only being posted because I could copy and paste on all 3 blogs.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-89344152489383324822008-01-26T13:07:00.000-08:002008-01-27T12:14:07.301-08:00Curly Pudding!<a href="http://shirktown.blogspot.com/">Shirky</a> recently passed along some authentic <a href="http://missjessies.com/products.htm#curlypudding">Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding </a>as a <a href="http://shirktown.blogspot.com/2007/12/shopping-scavenger-hunt-with-prize.html">contest prize</a>. The girls are enjoying being allowed to stick their fingers in it and we are all enjoying the loveliness of our hair. This is some wonderful stuff, but not nearly as wonderful as Shirky's generous nature! Thanks again!That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-62970744103914873452008-01-13T12:21:00.000-08:002008-01-13T12:47:52.926-08:00Brain Dump.It has been a long and sombre week in the That Family household. <br />My grandfather, one of my most beloved family members, who was diagnosed in September with colon cancer that had metastasized to his testicles and liver is in the long, slow and painful process of dying, something that is hard to explain to a child and even harder to understand yourself. We are trying to introduce to her the topics of shiva, shloshhim and burial itself, slowly. Kid3 is handling these things better than I am.<br />Kid3 was suspended from school this week. Basically, the school has a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, and suspends both the bully and the victim. It will go on to her permanent record that she was suspended in 1st grade ESL class for a bullying incident, without indicating that she was the victim, rather than the perpetrator. Apparently, this can be used to exclude her from field trips, extracurriculars and extended education opportunities, to "protect" her classmates. It also makes it very difficult to move her to another school in our area, because they are all zero-tolerance too. Kid3, and her bully, are both expected to participate in school run counseling to learn about how to socialize. After school, you, know, when a lot of parents are still at work trying to make a living. With a parent in attendance.<br />Due to several troubling incidents at school in the last month - one of the teachers was suspended without pay pending a child abuse investigation involving a student - we have been investigating alternative options. Most of which are expensive, particularly to enroll an ESL student at the 11th hour.<br />So I "get" to go back to being a working mom next week. My boss was wonderful about increasing my salary, with a corresponding rise of in-office hours to from two hr/wk to three days a week.<br />Kid1 and Kid2 will be back to going to daycare at my mother's, getting 1/3 of the therapy they are getting now and generally being happy about that arrangement. Kid3 will be off to a Montessori school, 45 mins away, 5 days/week and That Spouse gets to spend an extra hour a day on his commute, to drop her off at school "on the way" to work.<br />It is one of those weeks when I wonder whether we have done a good thing for Kid3 at all. She has begged to be sent back to Russia, where the children are nice. I am begging to go back with her; the vodka is plentiful there.<br />It is a week of just doing what you gotta do and praying that it will come out okay in the end.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-44991979304059499592008-01-04T09:40:00.001-08:002008-01-04T09:43:26.793-08:00I'm Not Quite Sure Where She Picks These Things UpSpend an hour in this household and you are likely to hear each of the following phrases, repeatedly.<br /><br />"Feeling lucky, punk?"<br />"That's rotund!" As in, "that's awesome."<br />"Like, awesome!"<br />"That's so very, very old." As in, "That is so last week!" But so much more pitiful.<br />"I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener..."That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-44618416525408310832008-01-01T07:24:00.001-08:002008-01-01T07:27:13.682-08:00Happy New YearAnd all that jazz.<br /><br />The new year is not a particularly momentous event in our family. We don't take the time to make resolutions or bring in the new year with a bang. But we do take the time to wish our friends the best of the best and the least of the worst in the coming year. Happy 2008! May your next 366 be truly blessed.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-63663046178203670142007-12-31T14:36:00.000-08:002007-12-31T14:38:16.591-08:00CiCi My PlaymateI was just teaching this little hand-clapping game to Kid3. She's quite good at it. Now if only her mommy could remember the G-rated lyrics of the song without looking it up online.<br /><br /><br />Ooops.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-63607718043090801242007-12-28T20:13:00.000-08:002007-12-28T20:15:17.692-08:00You know you have a child with special needs when...<br /><br />- You compare ERs instead of grocery stores.<br />- You compare your child's oxygen saturations.<br />- You view toys as "therapy".<br />- You don't take a new day for granted.<br />- You teach your child HOW to pull things out of the cupboard, off the bookcases, and that feeding the dog from the table is fun.<br />- The clothes your infant wore last fall still fit her this fall.<br />- Everything is an educational opportunity instead of just having plain old fun.<br />- You cheer instead of scold when they blow bubbles in their juice while sitting at the dinner table (that's speech therapy), smear ketchup all over their high chair (that's OT), or throw their toys (that's PT).<br />- You also don't mind if your child goes through the house tooting a tin whistle.<br />- You fired at least 3 pediatricians and can teach your family doctor a thing or two.<br />-You can name at least 3 genes on chromosome 21. (You really know your toast if you can spell the full names correctly)<br />-You have been told you are "in denial" by at least 3 medical or therapy professionals. This makes you laugh!<br />-You have that incredible sinking feeling that you've forgotten SOMETHING on those few days that you don't have some sort of appointment somewhere!<br />-You get irritated when friends with healthy kids complain about ONE sleepless night when they're child is ill!<br />-Your vocabulary consists of all the letters OT, PT, SP, ASD, VSD, IFSP, etc.<br />-You keep your appointment with the specialist even though a tropical storm is raging because you just want to get this one over with.....you waited 8 months to get it.....and besides, no one else will be there!<br />-Fighting and wrestling with siblings is considered PT.<br />-Speech therapy occurs in the tub with a sibling.<br />-When potty training is complete, you take out a full-page public notice in the Washington Post.<br />-When the Doctors/Specialist/Hospitals etc. all know you by your name without referring to your chart.<br />-You keep a daily growth chart.<br />-You calculate monthly statistics for the number of times your child vomits, and did this for more then one year.<br />-You phone all your friends when your child sits up for the first time, at age two.<br />-With a big smile on your face you tell a stranger that your four year<br />old just started walking last week.<br />-Her medical file is several inches thick and growing.<br /><br />You have a new belief.....that angels live with us on earthThat Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-21990119371768679722007-12-26T19:25:00.000-08:002007-12-26T20:21:18.796-08:00How to Thoroughly Confuse a Child in 10 Steps<ol><li>Celebrate Chanukkah as a family.</li><li>Emphasize the religious significance of the holiday.</li><li>Explain why you are celebrating Chanukkah instead of Christmas.</li><li>Refute child's "But all my friends are doing it..." style whinging with the age old adage "If all your friends jumped off a bridge..."</li><li>Spend double your budget on extravagant gifts to "Make it up" to the child for not celebrating Christmas.</li><li>Re-emphasize the religious significance of the holiday and the importance of spending time with family, rather than commerical interests.<br /></li><li>Let your child participate in only one of the following events; holiday concerts, holiday parties, Yankee gift swap with classmates, community holiday parades, mall Santa, <a href="http://www.busybeelifestyle.com/category/holiday/christmas/youve-been-jingled/">"You've been Jingled</a>," etc.</li><li>Explain to child again that you will not be celebrating Christmas. Repeat until they accept this, even if only at a superficial level.</li><li>Open your door on Christmas morning to find a well-meaning Christian family member laden with expensive, hard-to-find, unique or otherwise fabulous gifts for the child. Accept them. It's the thought that counts, after all.<br /></li><li>Explain again why you don't celebrate Christmas/religious significance, etc. Then go play with the Child's new Wii until your old knee/shoulder/back injury is acting up from the sudden increase in physical activity.<br /></li></ol>That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-54143345405442599692007-12-23T19:14:00.000-08:002007-12-23T19:19:17.318-08:00There's Always OneNo, my daughter is not the one that tells her classmates there is no Santa Claus.<br /><br />She's the one that tells them there is no Jesus. Or at least, that he is merely an historical figure with good PR people and was neither a miracle worker nor a messiah.<br /><br /><sigh>*sigh*<br /><br />At least she's comfortable with her Jewish identity.</sigh>That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-84974942228141122462007-12-16T18:56:00.000-08:002007-12-16T19:20:14.072-08:00Snow, School Days and SistersThere is just enough snow that I can justify keeping Kid3 home from school tomorrow. I am a horribly nervous winter driver, and that extends to getting in cars driven by other people, or letting my girls get in anyone's car when the road are bad.<br /><br />Kid3 has been enjoying the snow. It's too cold for the little ones to be out, but Spouse bundled up Kid3 and took her and her little friend from next door outside to build a snow hut, shovel the drive and make snow angels once the wind died down. After about 3 hours, they all came in soaked, and tired. There is going to be some mighty fine sleeping in this house tonight.<br /><br />School has been trying for Kid3. She is frustrated being the only child in her ESL class who speaks Russian, or any other tongue from that language family. Most of the kids speak Spanish(we have had an influx of Mexican immigrants in the last 12 months), and tend to speak it whenever they are not being closely monitored by their teachers. Kid3 speaks good English: she understands what people say to her, and they understand her. She wants to be in an English language class, we want her to be there, even if it means holding her back a year, but the school board disagrees. We've had to put her in an ESL program because she has no experience with the Latin alphabet, although she can read and write with Cyrillic characters. There has been some discussion of pulling her out of the program and home schooling her until September, when we would have to hold her back a grade anyways. She is supposed to be going into second grade, but I doubt we could get her reading fluency up to that level in 9 months. Argh! Decisions about education are so difficult.<br /><br />On the bright side, Kid3 is adjusting to her siblings better than anyone expected. It can't be easy to be dropped into a family dealing with multiple disabilities, two hectic work schedules and endless therapy and medical appointments. She has quickly become friends with Kid1, and I usually find them in Kid1's bedroom in the morning - Kid3 hears her sister wake up and goes in to talk and play with her until I get up to start the day. She is patient, and will wait for Kid1 to catch up in her gait trainer, or for Kid1 to choose a movie, meal or toy - something that her cousins often struggle with. Everyday, Kid3 does something for her sisters that makes me proud of her.<br /><br />We have been struggling with doubts. Was this in the best interests of all of our girls, to bring another child into an extremely high-maintenance household? We don't know. But we are hopeful that it will be the right path for all of us. Everyday, by words and actions, we feel as if we are lighting another lamp on our cloudy pathway.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-27304389441768826182007-12-13T07:40:00.000-08:002007-12-13T07:45:58.401-08:00Never FearThat caterwauling you hear in the background that sounds like a cross between a slowly-dying harpy and a a drawn out chihuahua cough is just the 6 year old trying to teach the 3 year old to yodel. A certain parent, who shall remain nameless, told Kid3 that her yodeling had a unique and melodious quality, as said parent walked out the door on their way to work.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-52910051901421989502007-12-10T19:39:00.000-08:002007-12-10T20:08:26.241-08:00Latke HappinessWe took the time this weekend to make latkes with the girls. It's something we haven't done, as a couple, in years, because usually we end up arguing about the recipe.<br />Spouse is a purist - a simple fried potato disc, maybe a little onion thrown in for flavour. No dressings or sauces. I, on the other hand, frequently throw lentils into the mix, along with some some white and green onion, egg and matzoh. I go for the savoury sour cream, the sweet cinnamon sugar, and the savoury-sweet sour cream with a touch of real maple syrup.<br />And the girls? Well, Kid1 takes after her dad on the latkes, and me on the sauce. Kid2 slept through the extravaganza. Kid3 loved it all; the making, the eating and the cleaning up. It felt like a little bit of my childhood as we shared our family recipes with her and shared the Chanukah celebrations as a family. And the first memory we have created that is uniquely ours as our new, complete family.<br />I don't remember my first latke. But I hope I will always remember hers.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-256859744977442332007-12-04T21:48:00.000-08:002007-12-04T21:52:55.435-08:00By the ByShe not only far surpasses me in Russian, she also speaks better Hebrew than I do.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-55678754474175700832007-12-01T17:14:00.000-08:002007-12-01T17:19:09.768-08:00Snowy Saturday.<br />Peaceful evening at home.<br />Three sleeping children.<br /><br />Wood fire burning.<br />Hot cocoa with marshmallows.<br />My kind of cozy.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1722935122716374104.post-1381246141741093952007-11-29T19:11:00.000-08:002007-11-29T19:17:22.618-08:00I am convinced.The best part of your child being an early riser is having someone to share a snowy Canadian sunrise with, and who will be more than willing to share a mug of hot cocoa before 6 am.That Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14992258063390873346noreply@blogger.com0