How to Thoroughly Confuse a Child in 10 Steps

1. Celebrate Chanukkah as a family.
2. Emphasize the religious significance of the holiday.
3. Explain why you are celebrating Chanukkah instead of Christmas.
4. Refute child's "But all my friends are doing it..." style whinging with the age old adage "If all your friends jumped off a bridge..."
5. Spend double your budget on extravagant gifts to "Make it up" to the child for not celebrating Christmas.
6. Re-emphasize the religious significance of the holiday and the importance of spending time with family, rather than commerical interests.
   
7. Let your child participate in only one of the following events; holiday concerts, holiday parties, Yankee gift swap with classmates, community holiday parades, mall Santa, "You've been Jingled," etc.
8. Explain to child again that you will not be celebrating Christmas. Repeat until they accept this, even if only at a superficial level.
9. Open your door on Christmas morning to find a well-meaning Christian family member laden with expensive, hard-to-find, unique or otherwise fabulous gifts for the child. Accept them. It's the thought that counts, after all.
   
10. Explain again why you don't celebrate Christmas/religious significance, etc. Then go play with the Child's new Wii until your old knee/shoulder/back injury is acting up from the sudden increase in physical activity.